“Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space” (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969)
Wouldn't it be really strange if; when you were a baby you learned to be afraid of people, then having learned this lesson you went through life trusting no one? Surely this can not be true. It is true.
As the quote at the top of this Blog implies, there are fundamental aspects of the human nervous system that once imparted at childhood, will pervasively act on our behalf as we mature and grow old, impacting romantic and professional relationships. During these earliest years we are programmed with feelings that serve to filter every other experience we have.
The "Strange Situation" is a standardized event by Ainsworth and Wittig (1969), devised to understand critical development stages all humans go through early in life. It was noted that young children (babies) can be classified as insecurely attached or securely attached with regard to certain relational situations. Your level of secure attachment has an impact on your ability to cope with challenging relational situations. Through the lens of work done by Dr. Sue Johnson (1998), and the application of Attachment Theory to practical couples therapies, we have the opportunity to see how patterns established early in life actually manifest in behaviors as adults. When in relationship, and under stress, we will be predisposed to experience feelings that guide our actions that we learned when we were very young.
What does a 3 year old "you" understand about adult relationships? Should you trust and act on these feelings? The feelings, are just feelings. Learn to recognize these feelings. Join Round Table.
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